I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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