so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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