I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i came on her dog
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
