I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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