he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You may now shotgun with the bride
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
