In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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