i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize