PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
