your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
