You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
