I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
