No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
