Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
