woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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