Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
