dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
