I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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