Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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