its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you win again, gameday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
