So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
