I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
