What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dude. I can hear the air.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
