ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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