If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so let's talk penis.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My penis needs a shock collar
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
