I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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