So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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