Me. At least after what I've been through.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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