Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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