So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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