i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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