You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she peed on how many people?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
