i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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