Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
