It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
