get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
