No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
