Plan B is the new Plan A
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How naked do you want me to be?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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