If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
