You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you never un-have a 4some
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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