Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
