Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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