I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I supernannyed him into submission
My vagina just clenched in fear
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
