Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
