Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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