It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
