I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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