I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
