I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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