u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
