a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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