Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
