tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
