I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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