Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
